This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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