I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
