i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
