HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
