Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
