Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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