So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
