If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
