if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
kristin has been a bad kristin
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize