Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
