No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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