Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
