And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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