i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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