I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
