Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
