By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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