2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
