I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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