Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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