I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Randomize
