But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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