they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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