yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
