LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
