sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
