i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
