I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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