i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
