You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
