i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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