I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
