i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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