Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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