omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize