it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
