Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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