thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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