I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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