My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
im holly from the hills drunk
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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