break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
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His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
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I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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