Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
