How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!