Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
