So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
