she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
