Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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