sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize