Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
