Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
