She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
