i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
