I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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