ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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