Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
