No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
