We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
