I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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