I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
