Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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