Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
