Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Houston, we have a squirter
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We left the knife in your bed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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