if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
