i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
