is your mom at the bar?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
